So much thinking lately. I think I spend 3/4 of my time thinking. I remember I once had a boyfriend tell me tat I think too much. (Of course later I caught him cheating and realized th ereason he wanted me to stay in the dark and minimumize my thoughts.) Last week i was watching the show "Do You Know Who You Are?" with Lisa Kudrow. Tehy were exploring her heritage and discussing her Grandmother's death in WWII when Nazis shot and killed her. They went in to depth about the execuctions of so many people. They talked about how there was 900 people who were stripped down and stood naked while they watched 3 people at a time step up and get shot. Then three more would step up and so forth. Men, women and children because hatred had no heart.
Immediately, as a new mom of course, I begin to think about how that would feel and the terror you would have to stand there naked and humiliated with your child knowing that there is nothing you can do to save them. The horror that those poeple faced. All of the life that each of of them were robbed from living.
As parents, our goal and dream is to have our children to grow up and have all the happiness that is allowed. We want to see them find love and success and we want to be there to witness all of it. I could take not being there if it meant that Owen would still get the oppurtunity to live his life but having to stand there knowing that his small life is about to end before it ever had time to get started would kill me before the hate-fileld monsters ever could.
How on earth can you get enough "I love yous" said for a lifetime in that small about of time?
Breaks my heart.
